Pondering My Courthouse Visits

For the past few months, I have attended some court hearings and a trial as a moral support to a friend I visit teach. She is the mother of six children with three different fathers who has, in my opinion, suffered more than any mother should have to suffer. Each marriage ended in divorce and she hasn't received much, if any, child support from any of these dead beat dads. She has two minor teenage children still under her care, but the four oldest are grown and support themselves. She tries to make ends meet the best she can but she has a difficult time getting and keeping jobs in this economy.

Her oldest son, Michael, has been incarcerated for over a year. He just completed a trial and was found guilty for being an accomplice in a carjacking. Because of his previous record, it is expected that he will get a sentence of life in prison (with possibility of parole). I went to the courthouse with my friend this morning thinking that the judge was going to hand down the sentence, but it was delayed until next month...and will probably continue to be delayed several more times. My friend is beside herself with grief for him and his choices and the possibility that he might never get out of prison before she passes away.  I think it will be at least 25 years before he will be able to meet before a parole board. I don't know about all of Michael's brushes with the law, but I know he joined a gang when he was just a youngster of 11 and has dealt drugs, etc. Although he eventually gave up gangs, he has violated parole and made many poor choices.

The reason I am posting this is because seeing what my friend is going through has made me appreciate my own children more. I am proud of the fact that they have all turned out to be wonderful people. They are good, upstanding citizens who would never do anything to harm another person and who have stayed away from drugs and alcohol. Although some of them made youthful mistakes while under our care, they learned from those mistakes and have towed the line. They are all college educated and have built a great life for themselves. They are friendly, easy to get along with, and self-sufficient. They are also willing to be of service to others. They have been taught correct principles, to fear God, and to keep the commandments. I believe a lot of their goodness has to do with training in the home, having good friends, and being raised in the LDS Church, but that is certainly no guarantee that children won't go astray. Each individual has to choose for himself/herself how they will conduct their life.

My mother heart is breaking for my friend as she tries to make sense of the cards life has dealt her. She is a good person who loves the Lord. She depends upon him to help carry her heavy load, but she still feels overwhelmed. She is amazingly strong even though every day is a struggle - financially and physically. She never gives up. She just carries on the best she can, which is inspiring to me. I help her as much as I can, but I can only do so much. She could use a few miracles in her life right now. I hope she gets them.